“Throughout the United States there are more single parent households than ever before in the nation’s history. Yet Black women remain the one group of single parents who are consistently attacked. Assailed on all sides by a white supremacist culture that stereotypes Black women as ‘welfare queens’ by Black men who claim they are victims of these castrating breeders who would rather live off welfare and have a good man support them, and by the shaming judgment of a nation that castigates unmarried poor women who birth children, while idolizing unmarried rich and famous women who choose to parent. Single Black mothers are increasingly represented in the mass media as harsh and uncaring parents. A large group of Black single mothers are alone because they are divorced. They are working mothers, like their non Black counterparts who receive state aid, most of them would relish being economically supported by a caring male provider. Its a myth that Black women prefer to raise children alone. Even most single professional woman living alone who choose to adopt a child would prefer sharing parenting with a caring partner. Parenting alone is difficult work. No one knows this better than Black women. And it is even more difficult when women are poor.” - Cherishing Single Mothers/SALVATION:BLACK PEOPLE & LOVE 🖤📚 I admit in the past I have had some shame around being single mother, there is an extra load of life labor that comes with that, society does not make it easy, many moments are laced with passive aggressive judgment, comments, assumptions and questions. It gets awkward. I have felt the stench of the stigma and also a sense of failure. Like I failed my daughter and myself. I stayed in a toxic relationship far too long in an effort to make it work because I thought it would make my childs life better. Community has more options, honor and respect for a two parent household, especially if its man & woman, whether it’s loving or not. At the end of the day it felt more sustainable self loving and honest to choose this more awkward extremely challenging path. Grateful to @bellhooks_ for her cherishing words in this sweet book, also grateful that my shame is released.